YOUR BELIEFS AND ABILITIES - Ali Zaenal Abidin

YOUR BELIEFS AND ABILITIES (and what to do about them).

Up until my first year in college, I always told people who're having English conversations with me that I'm more of a passive in my English. So I can understand what they're saying, but I'm not able to actually respond with a long answer. I only responded with those one-word or one-phrase kind of answers. Yes, no, ok, I agree, I understand, thank you, you're welcome, etc.

"My English is more of a passive" was always my answer. So many times I explained myself that way that, as I now reflect back, it became the label I subconsciously gave to myself. And that label became who I am at that time. That was my belief. It became part of my identity. When it comes to English, Ali is passive.

What that did to me was (without me even realizing it at that time) it practically destroyed my willingness and drive to SPEAK English fluently. Even worse, it gave me a sense of certainty about me being passive in English. And when you feel certain about something, you will grow a feeling of need to stay consistent with what you're certain about...regardless if it's impacting you in a positive or negative way. Which in my case, it had a horrible impact.

Because from there, it started to effect other aspects of my personal development beyond my English as well.

But here's the BIG question now, that label I subconsciously gave myself had nothing to do with my potential to become an active and fluent English speaker, wasn't it?

Of course not! The potential was always there. But because of that belief, I never got myself to tap into that potential. And each day that belief got stronger, each day I became further away from using that potential.

So let me remind myself and everyone who's reading this: your belief has NOTHING to do with your ability.

Let me give another simple illustration.

As I'm typing these words, there's a guy sitting next to me who's reading on his phone. Do I have the ability take his phone and break it? Yes I do. But would I do it? No, I will not.

Why not? Because that would make me a harmful person. And that's not who I am. I never label myself that way. That's not part of my belief.

I believe I'm a peaceful person. I believe adding positive values to people's lives is an important part of my way of living. So to be consistent with that label (that belief), I will not use that potential - that I have actually - to take the guy's phone and break it.

Consciously or subconsciously, we all have been giving many labels to our selves (and others). Both positives and negatives, empowering and disempowering ones. These labels we give ourself become a part of our identity, and they control a whole lot of what we do and don't do.

Keep and maintain the empowering ones, but make sure to eliminate the ones that are disempowering you to have a better quality of life and fulfillment.

The first key is awareness.
Ask yourself and write down (yes, don't just do it in your head) :
1. What area in your life that you're currently unsatisfied with?
2. What label(s) you might be giving to yourself that's stopping you from taking the necessary actions to improve it?

The second key is eliminating whilst changing them with a better and more empowering beliefs.

Ask yourself and write down:
1. Who (what kind of person) do I need to become to experience significant improvement?
2. What references (specific moments) from my past experiences that can show that I was once that person I wanted to be?
....and if you really can't find any (which I doubt, unless you're not really searching enough)...
3. Who do I know that have showed that characteristics I want to become (because they're homo sapiens like me. So if they can, then I can as well. And I better not make any excuses about it)

Do this process or schedule it NOW in your agenda.

....or unless you've been labeling yourself as a procrastinator?

-ali zaenal abidin-